Tuesday, August 29, 2017

Can Abraham Help Us Better Relate to the LGBTI Community?

Many years back I read a newspaper article about Bob Brown, the former leader of the Australian Greens, and him coming to grips with his homosexuality. He had been told to pray about his feelings by his Christian counsellors but to no avail. Eventually a doctor in London where he was studying at the time told him to accept who he was.


Bob’s story is not alone. Many can tell of the torment of feeling different, whether it be with same sex attraction, of feeling like a man trapped in a woman’s body or the other way around, or other dealing with other issues. Many try to deny who they are, fearing rejection and shaming by family, friends and the community at large - and for good reason. It is little wonder that mental health statistics among this community, including suicide rates, are higher than the community average. It is so tragic to hear of anyone taking their life, and it seems even more tragic if the victim is still a child.


As Christians we would like to think they could find safety in the Church but the reality is they don’t. Why? Being told you are an abomination, you will burn in hell forever, you must change your ways and, no doubt, just the feeling of being different keep them away. The Christian community is all too often not a safe place for LGBTI people. One can only wonder what the stigmatisation of this sub-community by the community at large and the Church in particular has on their children.


The community has been judged, shamed, oppressed and outed for centuries. Being LGBTI is not a lifestyle choice. It defies logic that people would choose to be LGBTI knowing all that being found out as such entails.


After centuries of discrimination this community see the enactment of Marriage Equality as going a long way to them as being treated as equals, of being accorded the same dignity most of us take for granted. When they see this move being opposed by many Christians and Churches, what do they see? Love? Or the Churches wanting to continue the inequality and shaming they know only too well? Is there any way they will see in this the professed love of Christians, or Jesus, for them?


I know there are verses in the Bible that talk about homosexuality as a sin, as an abomination. There are some theologians and Bible students who believe these texts do not speak to modern homosexuality and that they are not condemned by Scripture. It is not my intent to discuss those texts. I believe it is important to look at them within the overall context of the Bible, not that it is possible to do full justice to that aim in a short essay.


I am, however, reminded of the story in John 8 of the woman who had been caught in the act of adultery being dragged before Jesus. The penalty, as given in the Law, for such a sin could not have been any clearer. She must be stoned to death. But Jesus, the Lawgiver,  took a different approach. 'If any of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her.'


Abraham’s story is recorded for us in Genesis chapters 12-25. Perhaps when we look at his story and understand how God developed a relationship with him we might see  how we can better relate to members of the LGBTI community.


Abraham ‘was called God’s friend’ (James 2:23) and ‘father of all who believe …’, both the circumcised and uncircumcised (Romans 4:11.12). So what do we know of this highly honoured man?


  • His ancestors, including Nahor, his father, ‘worshiped other gods.’ (Joshua 24:2). Was Abraham raised to do the same? If so, at what time in his life did he stop worshipping these idols? Obviously the writer of Genesis did not think this was important enough to record.
  • He was married to his half sister - that’s incest.
  • He lied about his relationship with his wife twice, being prepared to let her have sex with other men to save his own skin - hardly the action of an honourable man.
  • Genesis 15:6, ‘Abram believed the Lord, and he credited it to him as righteousness’, is well known. But two verses later in response to God’s promise to give him the land he questions “Sovereign Lord, how can I know that I will gain possession of it?” Is this the response of strong faith?
  • Many years later God tells Abraham his wife Sarah will bear him a son. In response he ‘fell facedown; he laughed and said to himself, “Will a son be born to a man a hundred years old? Will Sarah bear a child at the age of ninety?” And Abraham said to God, “If only Ishmael might live under your blessing!”’ (Gen. 17,18)
  • He fathered a child with his wife’s servant. We would call that adultery. He also had children to his concubines - we are not told how many children or concubines (Gen. 25:6).
  • Then there is the story of his willingness to offer his son as a sacrifice. This was a common cultural practice. Abraham seems to have immediately set out to comply with the command. Was his knowledge of God such that he believed this was consistent with His character? Was he aware of God’s covenant with Noah and all his descendants, especially the provision dealing with the shedding of human blood?


And for your lifeblood I shall surely demand an accounting. I will demand an accounting from every animal. And from each man, too, I will demand an accounting for the blood of his fellow man.


Whoever sheds the blood of man, by man shall his blood be shed; for in the image of God has God made man. (Gen. 9:5,6)


So that’s Abraham, the first person in the Bible to be called a prophet (Gen. 20:7). I know I have focused on the negatives but I have a reason for that. He doubted God, lied, fathered children to women other than his wife with whom he shared an incestuous relationship. He did not question the command to sacrifice his son, and he may have worshipped idols, at least for some of his life. Can you imagine any Church today welcoming Abraham into fellowship, let alone giving him a position of leadership? I can’t.

Love is not something God does. It is what He is. And He looks to those who profess His name to share that love with a hurting world. His love does not exclude anyone, for all have the invitation to accept His embrace. 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 is a great descriptor of what that love is:


Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.


We see this love worked out in God’s relationship with Abraham. Despite Abraham’s many failures God maintains the friendship. There are no words of condemnation, no dishonouring of His friend. When Abraham fails God maintains the conversation, the relationship, working with him and bringing him back to the next test. This is a friendship that ‘always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres’.


Is this a model we can use to build friendships with others, and within the context of this essay the LGBTI community in particular?


We know that God calls homosexuality a detestable thing (Leviticus 18:22). But if we read that verse in context it is only one of different things also seen as detestable, including having sex with one’s sister (as did Abraham) and sacrificing children to Molech. It is also worth noting that ‘a lying tongue’ is also called ‘detestable’ (Proverbs 6:16,17). We can therefore only conclude that if gays are detestable in God’s eyes then they must be seen as standing side by side with God’s friend Abraham. So can we as Christians stand beside them and others in the LGBTI community as their friends also?


We need to live out the same principles we see in 1 Cor 13:4-7 as we walk with our LGBTI family members, friends and neighbours. God gave Abraham time to grow, not to any preconceived standard we may have set, but as God led. Just as God protected Abraham so we must protect others from the barbs, condemnation and shaming of the world - and others in the Christian community. At no time did God set out to dishonour, or shame, His friend. Rather, He honoured him as the first named prophet in the Bible, and as the Father of the Faithful, the Friend of God. Surely there can be no higher honour granted any human being than this.


If Abraham was given such high honour why should be stand in the way of  members of the LGBTI being treated as equals in the community of God,being loved, supported and allowed to grow in grace along with the rest of us?



Quotes from the New International Version

Thursday, August 24, 2017

Not Another Love Child!



When we think of the Stolen Generation our minds turn to those indigenous Australians taken from their families to be raised by good white folk. But they are not the only ones stolen. We know the stories of those white babies, snatched from their single mothers at birth ’in their best interest’. This was not a uniquely Australian practice. Between the 1920s to 1970s over 130,000 children were shipped from England to Australia to give them a ‘better life’. Many of these were born to single mothers and many experienced abuse, hard labour and servitude in their ‘land of hope’. Black or white, many of these children continue to live with the pain of separation from their families and the treatment they received.


Diana Ross and the Supremes have always been one of my favourite female groups - I know I’m showing my age now. In 1968 they released their hit 'Love Child' controversial at the time because it spoke of the shame felt by child born to a single mother.


It’s almost fifty years since that song was released. Now we try to work with troubled families in an effort to maintain family connections. Our attitudes to First Australians have changed to a large extent, and there is not the stigma attached to children born out of wedlock. I see this as positive, yet I fear we are in danger of continuing the cruelty of stigmatising another generation of children.


Members of the LGBTI community know what it means to be stigmatised, shamed and outed. They didn’t want a plebiscite because they feared not only for themselves but for their children. I believe those concerns were justified.


The question we will be asked to answer in the upcoming plebiscite is simple: ‘Do you believe that two people of the same sex should be able to marry?’ Nothing more, nothing less. Yet opponents express concerns for the children of these relationships. Rationally, this has nothing to do with the question.


Same-sex relationships are already legally recognised. Same-sex families already include children. Some are the children of previous straight relationships where parenting may be shared between both parents as is the case with many other relationships. Others are conceived with the aid of donor sperm or eggs and some through surrogacy arrangements. This is not limited to the gay community so it is not relevant to the discussion.


Regardless of what we think about gay marriage our number one priority should be the children. When we use them to confuse the marriage question what message are we giving to the children? When we question the legitimacy of their families, suggesting they are illegitimate, inadequate, provide an unsuitable environment are we not in some way implying the children are inadequate, illegitimate, should not exist? When we stigmatise their parents don’t we by extension stigmatise them?


Their children will listen, and so will ours. Our attitudes will be picked up by their children and ours. And if there's one place where shaming and outing takes place it's the playground. Our attitudes will be reinforced by our children. There is, I believe, a very real risk that this debate will simply produce another generation of traumatised, confused children.


You may argue that their parents’ relationship will cause trauma and confusion regardless. If you believe that then surely you have a greater responsibility to consider the welfare of the children above all else.

Remember the saying, ‘It takes a village to raise a child’. No family is perfect. No family alone can give their children all they need.We all need the support of the wider community to raise our kids. So please, in this debate, consider the children first and foremost.

Saturday, August 12, 2017

Time to Stop Shaming the LGBTI Community

There is a term we all know, ‘coming out’. It is said it takes courage to ‘come out’ as LGBTI. Being something I have never had to do I can't say I know what courage it does take, but I have no reason to doubt the claim. I know there are things in my own life I have found hard to admit to, and the reason is the fear of rejection.


While we may not give the subject of shame much thought in Western society it is recognised by mental health experts as perhaps the most basic of human emotion. Joseph Burgo, in his article ‘The Difference Between Guilt and Shame’ posted on ‘Psychology Today’ (May 30, 2013) says shame is ‘the painful feeling arising from the consciousness of something dishonorable, improper, ridiculous, etc., done by oneself or another.’ It should not be confused with guilt, which is ‘a feeling of responsibility or remorse for some offense, crime, wrong, etc., whether real or imagined’


It has been said in another place that guilt is what I do, shame is what I am. Obviously a sense of guilt can feed into a sense of shame.


Shame is to do with my worth as a human being, with meeting the expectations of others, of being worthy of acceptance. Am I attractive enough, smart enough, talented or whatever. It asks the question what would others think of me if they knew how I felt, what I thought.


So when I talk about shame, the LGBTI community, and ‘coming out’ this is what I mean. Think of the potential social cost involved in coming out LGBTI. They face censure, bullying, condemnation, isolation and more. According to research this community has greater challenges with mental health and higher rates of suicide than the general population. This fact should challenge all of us.


I don’t profess to understand why someone is LGBTI. I know there are those who have felt trapped in the wrong body or felt same sex attraction all their lives. Their stories cannot be simply dismissed as aberrations, perversions, or whatever label one wants to apply. There are those who have an extra male or female chromosome. I do not, cannot, accept the argument that there are ‘cures’. Maybe some can and do change, but not all. There also remains the possibility that among the ‘rehabilitated’ are those that really haven't changed at all. Perhaps they simply hide their true feelings and associated shame under the cover of their new conformity.


If there is one place on earth all of us, including LGBTI people, should feel safe, feel accepted, it should be the Church. In reality, this is the last place far too many of them want to be, for if there is one place they will feel shamed it will be here. All that stuff about hell fire, sin and being an abomination.


At this point it is appropriate to ask a question. If the pain of isolation and rejection, that feeling of shame, leads to self-harm and suicide by LGBTI people, what responsibility is shared by those who shame? As Christians, will not God hold us accountable for our part in that shaming?


‘What does God want of us?’, asked the people of Micah’s day. To which the prophet replied ‘... the LORD has already told you what is good, and this is what he requires: to do what is right, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God.’ (Micah 6:8). ‘Stop judging others,’ said Jesus, ‘and you will not be judged. Stop criticizing others, or it will all come back on you. If you forgive others, you will be forgiven’ (Luke 6:37,38).


As Jesus said to Nicodemus ‘For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life. God did not send his Son into the world to condemn it, but to save it. There is no judgment awaiting those who trust him. But those who do not trust him have already been judged for not believing in the only Son of God.’ (John 3:16-18).


It is not the place of the Church to judge, to condemn, to shame, nor to convict Rather it is to reach out to the shamed, the outcasts, the hurting, and to invite them into that safe place that God intended, the Church. For we have all known shame, rejection and hurt. If we have truly found healing in Jesus then we must invite others into that experience,  for love alone is the power of the Gospel.

Bible Quoted: NLT